Control, control! You must learn control!
Feb. 1st, 2003 08:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sillygoosegirlBreath in. Breath out.
I've been in better control of my emotions lately that I would expect myself to be. I can tell because there have been several things lately which could have or should have been emotionally hard on me. In fact, they have been emotionally hard on me. My mind is in perfect control. It is rational; it is making the right choices. My body on the other hand, it is full of emotion. I can feel it. It's like every cell in my body is threatening to rebel and put down my rational brain and release all this emotion. I think that perhaps the difference here that is creating these strange feelings is a lack of crying. Since coming to college, I've cried a lot, even when I'm not particularly upset. At first it made me feel weak, but now I think that it is simply my body's response to all the stress and emotion... even when it's not negative. I haven't done much crying lately. I don't know why. Perhaps because I haven't really been sad, I've just been emotional. I think the only crying I've really done in the past month or so was during "Lilo and Stitch," of all times. But I needed the emotional outlet, and it made me feel a lot better (though the idea of being caught crying during such a silly movie was pretty embarrasing).
I've been in better control of my emotions lately that I would expect myself to be. I can tell because there have been several things lately which could have or should have been emotionally hard on me. In fact, they have been emotionally hard on me. My mind is in perfect control. It is rational; it is making the right choices. My body on the other hand, it is full of emotion. I can feel it. It's like every cell in my body is threatening to rebel and put down my rational brain and release all this emotion. I think that perhaps the difference here that is creating these strange feelings is a lack of crying. Since coming to college, I've cried a lot, even when I'm not particularly upset. At first it made me feel weak, but now I think that it is simply my body's response to all the stress and emotion... even when it's not negative. I haven't done much crying lately. I don't know why. Perhaps because I haven't really been sad, I've just been emotional. I think the only crying I've really done in the past month or so was during "Lilo and Stitch," of all times. But I needed the emotional outlet, and it made me feel a lot better (though the idea of being caught crying during such a silly movie was pretty embarrasing).
