Loving Joshua

Sometimes it feels like the reason I am uncomfortable with the idea of getting married/engaged is that I feel like I don't love Josh enough. But how do you measure love, and how much is enough. It's not as though I feel like I could love him more. It just feels like my capacity for loving is just too small, and even though I love him as much as I feel like I would be capable of loving anyone, it always feels like he loves me so much more. I feel like I'm not good enough for him somehow because I am so selfish in how I love, but he seems so selfless. But I don't want to go find someone who I am good enough for; I don't think that such a person would be worth being with.

Made Public: 03/02/03