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sillygoosegirlI want more money. I don't like that Josh is going away simply because we don't have very much money. I never really used to think about money as having a big effect on my life. Always before everything was provided for and there was no serious shortage. I've never asked to be rich. All I want is enough. I'm really jealous of my friends who have enough money that they don't need to be worried about being separated.
I'm tempted to turn off comments. I'm sick of being told that "it's only a year" or "it isn't very long compared to the rest of your lives" or "being apart is a good way to test yourselves" or "being apart shouldn't be that hard" or "you shouldn't need to be together". Being apart is hard. It's a good way to creat a huge amount of anguoish over small misunderstandings. A year is a long time. If being together isn't important to me, why do you think I want to marry him? And, in the words of Harry (from "When Harry Met Sally"), "When you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
I'm frustrated that Josh didn't get into any grad schools near Mudd. I'm frustrated he didn't apply to many close ones. I'm frustrated that Josh's advisor recomended grad schools to him that wouldn't take him. I'm frustrated that Josh hasn't found a job. I'm frustrated that I have no idea to what extent that is Josh's fault. I'm frustrated that in a month I will go back to Mudd and Josh will go back to his parent's house and there is NOTHING I can do about it. It makes me feel helpless. What kind of loser am I? I can't keep my loved on with me, even when with me is where he wants to be.
I feel like a bad person because I convinced him not to go to grad school next year so that we could be together, but now we don't get to be together anyway. I'm frustrated that he will be in Cincinnati so he is most likely to find a job in cincinnati if he finds one anywhere, and I don't want to go to Cincinnati after this next year.
Is it 5pm yet? I want to go home already.
I'm tempted to turn off comments. I'm sick of being told that "it's only a year" or "it isn't very long compared to the rest of your lives" or "being apart is a good way to test yourselves" or "being apart shouldn't be that hard" or "you shouldn't need to be together". Being apart is hard. It's a good way to creat a huge amount of anguoish over small misunderstandings. A year is a long time. If being together isn't important to me, why do you think I want to marry him? And, in the words of Harry (from "When Harry Met Sally"), "When you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."
I'm frustrated that Josh didn't get into any grad schools near Mudd. I'm frustrated he didn't apply to many close ones. I'm frustrated that Josh's advisor recomended grad schools to him that wouldn't take him. I'm frustrated that Josh hasn't found a job. I'm frustrated that I have no idea to what extent that is Josh's fault. I'm frustrated that in a month I will go back to Mudd and Josh will go back to his parent's house and there is NOTHING I can do about it. It makes me feel helpless. What kind of loser am I? I can't keep my loved on with me, even when with me is where he wants to be.
I feel like a bad person because I convinced him not to go to grad school next year so that we could be together, but now we don't get to be together anyway. I'm frustrated that he will be in Cincinnati so he is most likely to find a job in cincinnati if he finds one anywhere, and I don't want to go to Cincinnati after this next year.
Is it 5pm yet? I want to go home already.
