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"You know what they say, 'Behind every successful man is ... )
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"Never give someone else's child a toy that makes noise, or the parents will hate you."

That sounds like very wise advice to me.
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There were a lot of people I didn't know at Josh's mom's family reunion a few weeks ago.  I thought this would be a family reunion at the level of Josh's cousins... not my mother-in-law's cousins.  But anyhow, I wanted to write about a funny exchange I heard there.  Some people were talking about how twins fun in the family... 

"So and so has twins, and so does so and so." 
"Yep, twins really run in the family."  
"Oh don't forget about so and so who has triplets."  
"Yeah, but that doesn't have anything to do with multiples running in the family, they have triplets because they did it three times in one night."  
"If they did it three times in one night, they deserve triplets."

Consider yourselves warned.  :-) 

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... everybody else just gets screwed!"

Alright, so Chessers Suite existed for 3 semesters. Where did Micah sleep each of those semesters? Didn't he have the cool bed in the cave under Josh's bed the first 2 semesters, and then the 3rd semester, Josh had his desk in the bedroom, slept under it, and Micah slept lofted above it??? Yes, Josh and I are arguing about where he slept. We'd like an expert opinion.

Trying to find the answer, I went back to my paper journal and I made myself kind of sad.

"I think I haven't said so before, so I'll say so now, I noticed at the beginning of the year that Chessers Suite is really something special, friendship wise. Well, now I truly feel like I'm part of that family. There are a lot of other people who are our friends, but mostly they are Josh, Micah, Daniel, Alex, Mary, and Rachel. I feel really connected to these people and I always want to have them around. Maybe it's just the bonding experience of all hanging out in Micah's bed, but I really miss them right now. I want to play chessers and swing dance and play bridge. I want to be in the Chessers lounge just talking to people and hearing their voices." - Christmas Day, 2000

Along with choice quite on the page of: "Prime and I are like magnets; attraction varies as one over r-squared." - Josh to Matt... yes, a good while before we started dating, and for those who don't know, I was of course 'Prime'.

Ah... sigh... college...
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Yesterday I loved you
like never before
but now I must confess
Today I love you less
than I will tomorrow morning
My heart cannot be trusted
I give you fair warning
I tremble at your touch
not nearly half so much
as I will tomorrow morning...

Marriage is a commitment to life, to the best that two people can find and bring out in each other. It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other human relationship can equal; a joining that is promised for a lifetime. Within the circle of its love, marriage encompasses all of life's most important relationships. A wife and a husband are each other's best friend, confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic. There may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing, and the love of the other may resemble the tender caring of a parent for a child. Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life. Happiness is fuller; memories are fresher; commitment is stronger; even anger is felt more strongly, and passes away more quickly. Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life, new experiences, and new ways of expressing love through the seasons of life. When two people pledge to love and care for each other in marriage, they create a spirit unique to themselves, which binds them closer than any spoken or written words. Marriage is a promise, a potential, made in the hearts of two people who love, which takes a lifetime to fulfill.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.
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"Other than telling us how to live, think, marry, pray, vote, invest, educate our children and, now, die, I think the Republicans have done a fine job of getting government out of our personal lives." -Editorial Page, Sunday, June 19 Portland Oregonian
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"Because when you decide you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

I love that movie.
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"I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
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This is just too funny...

And the priest says, "As long as you're popping out, I'm fine with it."
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"What our parents somehow neglect to tell us when they talk about marriage is that it isn't about kids or souls communing. It's about having the same old argument. You know what I'm talking about here. In every marriage there's an argument you two have so often you could tape it, play it next time the issue comes up, and save yourself the energy and aggravation of loud voices and long sulks."
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Watched the 2000 movie version of the Fantasticks. It was... disappointing. It is a musical which should really never have been made into a movie. They did a pretty good job with keeping the mood right though, which is truly commendable and was extremely impressive. However, they departed from the script a bit too much in my opinion. Particularly, they departed from the original songs too much. For several of the songs, they took out the original verses and wrote their own. And for the "It Depends On What You Pay" song, they replaced the WHOLE thing! As Josh pointed out, in the year two thousand you really can't have a man there singing about rape like that. But it's a really good song, and it underscores the stupidity of what is going on.

"The cost, Senior, depends upon the quality of the rape."
"The what?!"
"Forgive me, the attempted rape. I know you prefer abduction, but the proper word is rape. It's short and business-like."

And finally, to add insult to injury (or perhaps injury to insult), at the end, El Gallo leads them through the carnival instead of around the world... which could be a good choice in keeping with the mood of the original musical, expect they made it pretty clear that it was a brief one-night thing, rather than a many months or many years thing. Of course, I don't think they ever say explicitly in the play how much time passes, but it felt longer. Also, they are way too explicit about the rose-colored glasses... ever heard of "show don't tell" in the art of writing? I guess not.

And finally, the worst part is that El Gallo leaves off the last two lines of the closing poem.

There is a curious paradox which no one can explain:
Who understands the secret of the reaping of the grain,
Or why spring is born out of winter's laboring pain,
Or why we all must die of it before we live again?
I do not know the answer, I merely know it's true.
I hurt them for this reason, and myself a little bit too.

To me, it is those last two lines which explain the story, which give the musical it's meaning. It is the difference between a mature love between adults who have known pain and mistakes, and the love of children who know only make believe. They also took out the line exchange at the end between the fathers and El Gallo.

"Look! They've come back!"
"It's a miracle! Let's take down the wall!"
"No. Leave the wall. Remember you must always leave the wall."

Now my mom has always disliked this closing exchange because she doesn't think neighbors ought to have to have big walls on the property line, but that's never how I've interpreted it. I've always assumed that he is referring metaphorical wall, one of respecting individual differences. You must always leave that wall.

They did fortunately at least include "Try to Remember" as the credits rolled. I'd been afraid they would leave it out completely (generally it is both the opening and closing song, though with different verses used at the end than at the beginning).

Deep in December it's nice to remember;
Although you know the snow will follow.
Deep in December it's nice to remember;
Without a hurt the heart is hollow.
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Lyrics to remember, from Once Upon a Mattress.

"Yesterday I loved you / like never before / but now I must confess / Today I love you less / than I will tomorrow morning / My heart cannot be trusted / I give you fair warning / I tremble at your touch / not nearly half so much / as I will tomorrow morning..."

Rarely do I run across a song which rings so true.
sillygoosegirl: (Character - Goose Girl)
"I'll have what she's having."

I love this movie.
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Wedding coasters that say, "Eat, Drink, and be Married". That reminds me of when Daniel decided that for the evening everyone's name would be Mary, and told us to "Eat, Drink, and be Mary".

I'm glad I can smile at that again and (almost) not be bitter.
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Somebody (though probably not me) should have a user icon of somebody mooning, with the caption, "Turn the other cheek."


Aug. 20th, 2005 10:58 pm
sillygoosegirl: (Fairy - Lady's Smock)
I was thinking about this at work the other day (perhaps because I'd been thinking about Firefly) and wanted to post it.

Back when my brother was going through a lot of troubles, by parents sent me to Al-Anon (or maybe it was Alateen?)... that experience was mostly a real flop for me because everyone else there had a loved one with a drinking problem, which felt very different to me than the drug problem my brother had. But there was one aspect of those meetings which was very moving and I have carried with me since then, the serenity prayer.

I remember, a couple meetings in, telling my mother about it and how much I liked it. I'd only heard it a few times and did not have it completely committed to memory yet, so I kind of struggled though repeating it to her, and asked her if she'd ever heard it before. She told me she had, and then pointed to the white lacy handkerchief framed in a green frame and hanging on the wall in the kitchen. I'd never looked at it closely before and discovered that it was had text embroidered onto it. There in our so very agnostic household, in the kitchen, which was the primary meeting room for family and for guests, framed and on display for all to see:

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

It's always been sort of an oddity, that prayer, or poem if you prefer, hanging in my mother's kitchen. But only sort of an oddity. Poem or prayer, it is important to remember, and important to strive for.
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"You will be angry with me Perrin, and I with you. If you want to make another Wedding vow, vow you will not hide it when you are."

I wish whoever had quoted this had included the whole thing. I'm certainly not going to go sifting through the whole book looking for it though... even if I had a print copy of the book available to me right now.
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In all our years together, I saw my uncle cry only once. [Aunt] Ollie developed Alzheimer’s and had to be moved to a nursing home. For several weeks afterward, she knew who she was for a few minutes a day. During those lucid intervals, she would call Buddy and say, “Oren, how could you leave me in this place after fifty-six years of marriage? Come get me right now.” He would dutifully drive over to see her, but by the time he got there, she would be lost again in the mists of the disease and didn’t know him.

It was during this period that I stopped by to see him late one afternoon, our last visit at the old house. I was hoping to cheer him up. Instead, he made me laugh with bawdy jokes and droll comments on current events. When darkness fell, I told him I had to go back home to Little Rock. He followed me to the door, and as I was about to walk out, he grabbed my arm. I turned and saw tears in his eyes for the first and only time in almost fifty years of love and friendship. I said, “This is really hard, isn’t it?” I’ll never forget his reply. He smiled and said, “Yeah, it is, but I signed on for the whole load, and most of it was pretty good.” My uncle Buddy taught me that everyone has a story. He told his in that one sentence.

--My Life by Bill Clinton
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"You're dilated to 10 cm, why haven't you started giving birth yet?"
-Warf to Kako


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