Oct. 1st, 2008 03:05 pm
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Josh asked me to remind him to take his bike lock with him when he leaves work today because he is going to stop in down town Verona on his way home for "supplies".  This confused me and I asked some questions and he gave coy responses, and eventually told me, "No, you aren't supposed to know what they are supplies for yet."  Oh, no wonder I don't remember a need for supplies (other than from Ace Hardware and I plan to buy those myself).  I'm eager to find out. 
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Tonight, over dinner, I asked Josh what day it was... because it totally feels like a Sunday night to me, but it's still only Saturday and we still have another day of weekend. I said I'd give him a hint, that it's not our 2 and 3/4 anniversary... at which point he promptly pointed out to me that actually it is (the equinox is on the 20th, so today actually is the last Saturday of Winter). Silly Josh.

For those of you who don't read Josh, the comment about it not being our 2 and 3/4 anniversary was prompted by this prior situation where I asked Josh if he knew what day it was: Our First Leap Day.

Anyway... Last Saturday of Winter!!!!! Less than a week until Spring!!!! Happy happy happy dance!!!! Yay!!!!!
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Josh likes that the stud-finder beeps when he points it at himself...


Sep. 25th, 2007 11:30 am
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Eleven months ago we purchased a fancy bike for Josh and I posted This Entry.

Since then he has lost like 15-20 lbs (140 lbs down from 155-160). I think he may actually be in better shape now than when I met him... mmm... smokin'! (Not that he wasn't a total hottie this time last year too.)

What a great investment! I can't believe I argued against him buying it in the first place! I am such a lucky girl... :-)
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
The Weather Service has issued a tornado warning for our area. We've been instucted to stay away from windows and go the the basement. That's kind of funny, since I work in the basement and there are no windows down here. I'd hoped to be going home on the 3:30 train... I guess maybe it's a good thing I didn't get my work done in time.

I hope Josh is okay. And everyone else I know in the Chicago area.

Now so I will just sit inside in the basement and work where I can't even tell that anything is going on outside... unless, of course, the electricity flickers off again and makes all our PCs reboot again. Thank goodness for autosave.
sillygoosegirl: (Photo - Expose Yourself to Mudd)
Thai food
Goat ball(less) tea
Cream soda
Special glasses
Fancy clothes
Top hat
MOB Music
Dancing in the kitchen

Evidently tonight is college night. Who needs money for a fancy date?

Josh never seems like the romantic type, but really that's just an illusion.

Aww... :-)


Of course, it would have been better if it had been ready when I got home from work... and he hadn't broken the blender while clearing space to dance in the kitchen. Oh well.
sillygoosegirl: (Photo - Dip)
Our song chose us. At Harvey Mudd College, where we met, twice each semester there is a fancy dance, known as a Mudd Occassional Ball (or MOB for short)--kind of like a high school dance, only without the teen angst, and with real ballroom dancing. Plus, as you can tell from the name, it definitely had a sense of humor about itself--the dress code was, "Formal attire admired but not required", and at a typical dance you'd find everything from shorts and tee-shirts to tuxedos and ball gowns.

The last dance was always "The Rainbow Connection", you know, with Kermit the Frog. Well, all through high school, there was this guy I knew who would always sing that song, and it (and he) really brightened my day. So when it came on, my freshman year of college, I was suddenly overcome with very strong feelings of homesickness, and it was all I could do to keep from crying. Josh (who I was just starting to become friends with), saw it and thought I was sad that no one had asked me to dance the last dance, so he asked me. After that, he discovered that he could get me to smile and turn a little teary at the same time by singing it to me randomly, and that entertained him, so he did so. By the time the next dance rolled around, we were dating, so of course the last dance was always together...

About 3 years later he asked me, "Do you think of this as 'our song' too?" Ah, but of course I do, and always have!

But we didn't dance to it at our wedding because when it comes to performance dancing, we prefer Tango to Waltz. Instead we sang it during our ceremony. For our first dance, we used Tom Lehrer's "The Masochism Tango", because we thought it was funny. "I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear..."


Jun. 27th, 2007 08:26 am
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
I had a dream last night that Josh was riding his bike without his helmet. I realized he didn't have it on, just as he was taking a serious tumble (8 feet straight down onto his back--don't ask, physics was wacked out in my dream). I asked him if he'd hit his head, and he said no... I think thinking that I hadn't seen him hit his head. I argued with him and eventually he conceded that he may have hit it a little. I asked if we should take him to the hospital. He said no, and we argued about that for a little bit too... until he passed out. I didn't know what to do. But there was a van just pulling out of the parking lot where we were and I noticed that [ profile] lizzie9208 was driving it, and I went and banged on her window until she looked up and answered me. She agreed to drive us to the hospital. On the way we stopped and picked up my parents. They made me promise to let them know it we couldn't pay the hospital bill. I just sat there getting more and more tense, checking Josh for signs of life every few seconds. Eventually we got to the emergency room and I woke up.
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Read more... ) can those of you who actually took the whole First Responder class remind me what the symptoms of abdominal bleeding are. Particularly ways in which I could determine the difference between abdominal bleeding and simply being in a lot of pain from having gone on a 35 mile bike ride and been thrown off my bike the previous day.
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
I love that man, but sometimes I want to wring his neck. That's right, our anniversary is Saturday. I went to all this effort sneaking around to set up reservations for a special dinner without Josh knowing about it (calling from work and whatnot, but it took forever to get ahold of them), and because it's a little funky, they needed payment in advance, and since they are in the stone age, while they could take my credit card over the phone, they needed to send me a signature card to sign and return by mail. Well, it just so happens that for once Josh decided to not only bring in the mail, but also start openning it! Argh! See if I ever try to do anything nice for him ever again! Sigh.
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
What happens to romantic relationships as they grow and mature. I often feel like precious little attention is paid to relationships (in the general sense, not the specific), after around the 1 year wedding anniversary or the 3-4 year dating anniversary. It's as if most people suddenly just stop talking about their relationships. Why is this, I wonder? I know that I myself find that lately I have precious little to say about my relationship... though I have not really understood why. I belong to a few relationship communities and I go to write an entry updating people on my relationship... I mean, how could I not want to update, I am overall so happy with it, have so much to brag about... yet I go to put pen to paper and find I have nothing to say. Huh? How did that happen? I have stuff to say, but as I go to say it, I notice it has really little to do with our relationship, and mostly to do with our life, the life we share... and only to do with our relationship in the sense that it is the life of two people in a relationship.

Today, an idea stuck me. I don't know if it has any merit really, but I think it is worth considering. When a relationship is new, it is a big part of a person's life... the joys, struggles, and milestones of the relationship naturally become the milestones, memorable instances, and even defining moments of the person's life. But then perhaps, after time has passed and patterns of relating have been established, the relationship becomes more of an integrated component of the person's life, rather than a new and unpredictable defining feature.

When it comes to more mature relationships, there is often talk about keeping things interesting, keeping things exciting. Yet I wonder, are these missing the point. Early in a relationship, patterns are being established, two people are learning to get along with one another, an incredible bond is being created essentially out of nothing. This is exciting, hopefully joyous, sometimes a struggle, and probably marked with many meaningful milestones along the way. Falling in love becomes a person's whole world, or near enough to it. Navigating all this is a popular topic for discussion, because it's difficult and there are always people out there trying to figure out how to do it right.

In contrast, a more mature relationship is very different--the patterns have been established, understanding increases intimacy but comes at the cost of the excitement created by the unknown and unpredictable. Hopefully there is still plenty of joy and love, and from time to time there will still be struggles--but the character is fundamentally changed because while the relationship may be altered an enhanced, it is no longer being created for the first time. I think that perhaps having a partner becomes more of the internal identity and less a thing of external interest... the relationship becomes yet another of many layers of life, it should be an important and enhancing aspect of how we each experience life, but I think perhaps something which simply cannot remain the sole focal point.

I think this is perhaps why so much of the advice for more mature relationships focuses so much suggesting to try new things, take time for hobbies, and so forth... because if a relationship is a way to experience life, it's only going to be fulfilling if the life itself is worth while. And I think perhaps also why so little is said about more mature relationships, because while a relationship may remain a very important and gratifying part of a person's life, it ceases to be the focal point once it is established. I think perhaps it is natural for the maturation of a romantic relationship to leave a void in a person's life that needs to be filled in a new way (as so many people eventually experience), but that maybe this void should not be interpreted as a sign that the relationship has ceased to serve it's function, or that love has departed. The caterpillar may be gone, and in going it may have created a void... but perhaps it would be best to enjoy and cherish the butterfly for what it is, rather than asking it to fulfill the exact same role as the caterpillar. Perhaps it's time for something other than a romantic relationship to fill that role most of the time, to be the primary source of excitement, change, growth, and challenge in life.
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
You know, it's odd that I first decided to get married almost 4 years and and I've now been married for almost 2 years, yet I still find myself struggling to understand what a marriage is, even just what it is to me personally.

Logic and my 5 senses tell me that marriage is a piece of paper on file at the court house in Hillsboro, Oregon, granting Josh and I certain fun legal privileges. Yet I have never, not for one moment since being married, believed that that is what a marriage is. But that has left me with a puzzle... if marriage is not the thing I can hold and my hand and order a certified copy of, what exactly is it? What is it made of? Where do you find it? How did it come into being?

I do know that marriage has had a profound impact on my very being, on my relationship to Josh, and on my relationship to the world. It has changed the way I see the world, and my place in it. It has fundamentally altered most of the other relationships I have ever had... some in small ways and some in large ways. It has changed what movies I cry at. It has changed how I think about life and especially about death. It has changed what I believe is possible, not only in a relationship between two lovers, but also in my relationships with other people. It has changed what I think about love. It has changed how and why I think about family. It has filled a hole in my life that I did not know existed. It is scary, yet at the same time wonderful, to have something I don't understand influencing and shaping my life so much. I feel like there are whole new places in my brain, new pathways and ways of thinking. It's like being out in the thunderstorm was yesterday... it's terrifying and it makes me grumble at the inconvenience of it all, yet my heart wants to sing with the power and the wonder of it, because it is just so incredible that I am inexplicably filled with joy just by being involved in it.

But I cannot help but wonder. How did this happen? And why? Is this a repeatable experiment? Or are we managing to repeat the successful results of others even though we are half-blind? And repeatability aside, I really want to know what the basis for the change is... and fundamentally, I want it to be something I can hold in my hand and say, "Look there, see that? That's what's behind this." But the thing is, I can't. Alternatively, I'd like to say that it is because I see myself as married now. The thing is, I saw myself as "practically married", "the same thing as married", "completely committed", "almost married", etc before we were married... and yet somehow "actually married" has been worlds different for me.

Something very profound happened that day, the last Saturday of Spring in the year two thousand and five at the Kinton Grange, before so many people who are important to me. And it bothers me that I have not been able to figure out exactly what. The LDS believe that when two people are married (in the temple as part of a special ceremony in a special room), their souls merge together giving them a common destiny in the eternal after life. I don't believe in their God, nor in an after life, nor do I have a firm idea of what I believe a soul is or if I even believe in one. But you know what? That's kind of what it felt like... or at least as good a description of what it felt like as any I have heard.

Yet at the same time I cannot say it all happened in a day. My life changed forever that day, but I don't think it could have had I not spent months leading up to it learning how to open myself... my heart, my soul, my mind, my emotionally being, my whatever-it-is... to whatever it was that happened. And then I spent months struggling to remain open and not to pull away again from... whatever this is we have created. Truth be told, I still struggle not to pull away some days, even as I grow in confidence that I would never want to, and doubt that I ever could pull free from something so powerful anyway.

Yet, as powerful as it seems to be, again the mystery, as there appears to be nothing there at all. The only thing I can think it is made of is faith, the belief we choose to hold in something which cannot be proven to exist. And that scares me too. If marriage is made of faith, then it exists only in our hearts and minds. In some ways that makes it stronger than anything, because it has no physical form to harm. Yet in other ways, it makes it fragile, like a fairy... that will pop suddenly out of existence, as if it had never been, if there are an insufficiency of people who believe in it. The physicist in me is used to believing in things because I know they are real. Yet my marriage, having a profound impact on my life, is undeniably real... and it forces me to accept that there are things which are very real, and exist because people believe in them. I've always had some idea that things like this exist: government is like this, and in some ways religion is like this too (though I don't imagine religious people tend to think of it in these terms), but I've never had an intimate connection to either of those institutions the way I do to my own marriage.

And all this eventually leads me to a conclusion I never thought I'd make. That our marriage is fundamentally not just something that exists between Josh and I, but something which is somehow connected to other marriages, particularly the marriages of couples we admire, and perhaps all other marriages (though I think probably less or not connected to those many "marriages" in my generation "for health insurance", "for immigration", etc). I don't think it could have sprung into being without examples from older couples. I think the faith required to make something like this exist may require more than 2 people, and more than one marriage... certainly it helps, certainly I doubt we would ever have thought to believe if we had been first required to dream up the concept of marriage ourselves. And certainly a marriage's strength cannot be measured at it's strongest point, but based on what happens when faith wavers, and the faith of the greater community may be needed.

For all I've thought about this, what I have figured out seems to me that it must be only the tip of the iceberg, and I am left with my questions than answers. Sometimes I fear I will spend a lifetime contemplating these questions, and never get to the bottom of this mystery.
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Fortunately and Unfortunately... Friday night:

Fortunately, Josh and I went to see "She Stoops To Conquer" at the Northlight Theater.
Unfortunately, we didn't know it was going to be a musical.
Fortunately, it was really good.
Unfortunately, we didn't know of anyplace that was open afterward to get ice cream.
Fortunately, we came home and made Nutella cookies.
Unfortunately, we didn't have a recepe for Nutella cookies.
Fortunately, substatuting Nutella for peanut butter makes good cookies.
Unfortunately, we ended up staying up until 2am.
Fortunately, we were having a blast.

Buca food

Feb. 22nd, 2007 10:28 pm
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Josh made Buca sauce and tortellini for dinner tonight. It was yummy. He even got mushrooms and made them up for me, which is uncommon cause he doesn't like them. And bruschetta. (And broccoli and peas... but whatever.)

Yet somehow, I am hungry again before bed. It must be all that fatty food, being too rich to actually fill up on.

It reminds me of our first date... when Josh took me out for my birthday to Buca... in November of 2001 (for the record, we started "dating" in February of 2001 and my birthday is in September... long story).

We got the tortellini. Because, you see, at Micah's birthday (October 2000) at Buca, Josh was really sweet to me and mentioned at some time during dinner how someday he'd like to come to Buca with just one other person and just get tortellini. I don't think he was trying to propose a romantic date idea... though you never know, the comment was directed primarily at Nick, as I recall... which supports either the Josh/Nick theory, or the stalker-Josh theory... but I was sold either way. I wanted to be that one other person... particularly the part about the gorging on tortellini thing... and also the cute guy part. So that was that... and, by the way, Micah, have I ever thanked you for inviting me to your birthday celebration?

But anyhow, back to the date... we got the tortellini, but were only able to eat about half of it before waddling back to Mudd... because it was so rich and it was all we were eating. Yet after all that, somehow we were hungry again before we said goodnight for the night.. and ate the other half of the tortellini. It has always amazed me how we were able to be so full, and yet be so hungry again so soon after. What a mystery, eh?

But anyhow, I think my toast has dinged, so I should go get it. But reminiscing about first dates is fun. Err, that should be "date," eh?
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Mmmm... breakfast in bed...

But unfortunately no snow day...

Leastwise, not one that has been announced yet...


Feb. 9th, 2007 09:23 pm
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Benj and Rachel should especially be sure to read this post, even if no one else does. (You guys can skip to the part about REI if you want.)

I got off work early today (worked some long days earlier this week), and Josh and I headed over to Evanston. Stop #1 was Vogue Fabric. Josh wants me to have a sexy bathing suit, so we needed to get fabric and a pattern... actually, two patterns since I got my heart set on something I saw in the Victoria Secret swimsuit edition catalog, which ended up requiring separate purchases of top and bottom patterns (and we couldn't just buy it from Victoria Secret because (a) there's no way in hell I'm spending $70 on a swimsuit (pay no attention to all the money I spent on supplies today), and (b) I didn't like the colors Victoria Secret had it in). Will I ever leave the house in said sexy swimsuit... we'll see (and the rest of you can hope). Also, I purchased a bunch of clearance fabric, for a couple pair of pants, and 6 yards of some nice pastel lavender suiting/canvas which I plan to use for mock up bike panniers (since the real fabric for the panniers was really expensive). And I got a little bit of anti-tarnish fabric to use to make a pouch for storing my silver jewelry, and to stick in the china cabinet under my silver tea set... to hopefully reduce that whole tarnishing thing.

Then was dinner at the Ethiopian Restaurant in Evanston for Josh's birthday. It was okay, but nothing to write home about... so I wont.

And finally, the REI part. We ordered some socks for Josh off REI outlet a while ago and had them shipped to our local store. We stopped in to pick them up and they were having a super clearance event (going on until February 18th). Sale items ending in .83 are an additional 50% off. We got Josh a pair of biking shoes and another pair of shoes he really liked, and we also picked up a really nice, pretty large, not overly heavy 3-person tent for $109 (Sierra Designs Hyperlight). We've been planning to get such a tent for a while for car camping since our Quarter Dome is so small, but at just under 6lbs it would also be acceptable for backpacking when we want some more space. The same goes for the biking shoes, what with the "been planning to buy these for a while" thing... and the other shoes? Those were impulse.

So anyhow, the reason I wanted Rachel and Benj to see this was because now looks like a really good time to go to REI and get gear if you want to do that (there was a decent amount of stuff they are out of online). Or if you don't want to buy every last possible piece of gear for a trip on the Ice Age Trail, we would be able to loan out one of our tents. The new tent easily sleeps 2 without any requirements of them being overly friendly... and I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it probably is a lot more waterproof than Ed's old tent.


Dec. 28th, 2006 09:05 pm
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
I think my SD card reader in my 'puter may have just failed... :-(

Okay, actually it was just itching for a reboot.

Now I get to be a picture whore.

We had a yummy candle light dinner tonight.  Yes, Josh got me a candelabra for Christmas.  It's pretty cool.

sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Josh: We have about a thousand dollar bill here.
Mary: We must be rich.
Josh: A thousand and a couple dollar bill isn't worth nearly as much as an exactly 1000 dollar bill.
Mary: Would you like 2 $501s or 3 $334s for that?
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
We posted Josh's resume to Monster last night, and today he received 1 email and 2 phone calls from head hunters interested in him for lab tech temp positions. Not what he wants to do... and certainly I hope he finds something better (and I certainly expect that he will eventually), but it's nice to know we probably wont have a repeat of the situation in Livermore 3 and a half years ago when he was just finding nothing at all for months on end.
sillygoosegirl: (Default)
Today Josh and I biked up the Skokie Forest Preserve trail. We parked our car on Dempster and went north from there. We were about to turn around thinking that the Chicago Botanic Gardens were still a ways further along, when we saw a sign across the street indicating that we were across the street from the far side of the Botanic Gardens. Seeing as admission to the Botanic Gardens is free (they charge $10 to park a car), we crossed the street and biked into the gardens. We didn't get to enjoy the Botany, however, as we were 11 miles away from our car and expecting it to start raining soon, but we were hungry, so we went into the cafe for lunch. It was very yummy and much deserved. We were also quite impressed by how much they had blooming too--they had roses blooming amazingly enough! I'm too tired to really post more than that about the biking though. Except that also we saw 6 deer in 2 groups. It's hard to point out deer to your sweat heart:

"Yeah, I heard you. What is it?"

Fortunately the deer were rather tame and were not scared away by this. Urban dear clearly.

Um, yeah, photos:

In other news:

I also started the project of refinishing our table. It is sitting in the second bedroom drying the first coat right now (with the door closed and the window open. Also, before biking, I took in my zip offs about an inch and a half vertically at the hips... which looks kind of odd, but makes them fit better. I hadn't been thinking of this pair as a mock up originally, but I think that's what they are. I think the next pair will fit just right.

Aside from all that, accomplishments of the day include such mundane tasks as laundry, kitchen clean up, bickering with my spouse, and rearranging the furniture in the bedroom... or actually both bedrooms since we put the dinning room table in one of them.


sillygoosegirl: (Default)

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